![]() ![]() I’m going to write these sentences over and over and recite them out loud. I’m going to write this down, I thought, planning in my head how I’d spend the next few days before I taught again. I could talk out loud without worrying if I would mess up, no students staring at me while I was in my car. Saying the cues over and over helped me feel like I could do this, I could teach. I was teaching out loud in my car, playing the Vinyasa sequencing over and over, testing new ways of saying it. I laughed out loud at how I was fumbling over the words, not caring too much, beautiful mountain views out my window. “Grip down with your thumbs and index fingers…” Wait, is that the right order for the cues? “Inhale as you lift your hips up and back. I was driving a lot- at the time I lived in Sacramento and would hang out with a group of friends in Tahoe, about a 90 minute drive each direction that I was making almost every Friday and Sunday. I had started this routine of saying the words out loud while driving in my car. My confidence started to shift because I had found a new tool to open up my voice. ![]() I remember midway through the summer when something clicked for me. Oh God, I thought, what if my playlist isn’t working? What if the room is too hot? What if I totally blank out and forget what to say?Īny pose I spoke out loud felt like an opportunity to fail. ![]() My hands were shaking when I’d walk to the front of the room to start class. I remember being so nervous, wondering if I’d remember the words we’d learned in teacher training. How could I share this? How could I give this away, this gift of yoga? How could I help other people find some relief from stress, pain, and exhaustion?īut first- how could I deal with the sense of self-doubt and anxiety that was looming over me every time I went to teach? I so desperately wanted to give to my students the experience I’d had from yoga: my practice was a powerful force for healing, it had brought me out of a deep depression and helped me know myself better, feel safe in my body, and feel at home within a community. In the early days of teaching yoga, I remember being simultaneously thrilled and terrified all at once. ![]()
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